My Boyfriend Has Kids, I Don’t. Should I Stay? Dear Good. Therapy. org. My boyfriend already has three children. I have none. Should I continue dating him? I'm 2. 6 years old. I can't seem to accept the fact he's already experienced having a family. I truly care for him, but I'm struggling. Unfortunately, I can’t give you a simple yes- or- no answer. As is often true with relationships, it is a bit more complicated than that. I can, however, suggest some areas for you to explore as you consider your next steps. First, I would encourage you to explore why you are having such difficulty accepting the fact your boyfriend already has children. This would give many people pause. Relationships can be quite complicated when only two people are involved—each person brings his or her own unique goals, dreams, and expectations, as well as wounds from previous relationships. I am dating someone who is divorced (because his ex-wife refused counseling) and who would like to get married. Can you give me a Biblical answer on remarriage? Negotiating all of this can be challenging. Add three children and their mother to the mix and things can get very complicated, very quickly. But the question for you is, how are you experiencing this? How do you feel about his children? Do you get along well with them or is there a lot of tension between you? Are you concerned about whether your boyfriend will want to have children with you, given he already has three of his own? If he does want to have children with you, are you worried that it won’t mean as much to him as it does to you, as a first- time parent? Are you interested in being a mother at all? Did you envision motherhood coming later in your life? What will your role with his three children be and what are your thoughts and feelings on that role? Sit with these questions, allow others to arise, and be brutally honest with yourself in answering them. It might be a good idea to partner with a therapist who can facilitate a thorough exploration of these issues and support you in the process.
Once you have gained greater clarity on your thoughts, feelings, and concerns about the fact your boyfriend is already a father, it seems that the next step is to talk to him. Share with him what arose for you in your exploration of this very serious issue. If you do choose to stay in this relationship, it will be essential to be able to have difficult conversations with him about his children and how you feel about them, and about how they impact your relationship. If you don’t choose to stay in the relationship, you will likely need to have another kind of difficult conversation about why you are leaving the relationship. A therapist could be very valuable in helping you prepare for these conversations and in processing the outcomes. Thank you again for writing in with a question that surely resonates with many. I wish you courage in the process of sorting this out and peace with whatever choice you make. Kind regards,Sarah. Sarah Noel, MS, LMHC, is a licensed psychotherapist living and working in Brooklyn, New York. She specializes in working with people who are struggling through depression, anxiety, trauma, and major life transitions. She approaches her work from a person- centered perspective, always acknowledging the people she works with as experts on themselves. She is honored and humbled on a daily basis to be able to partner with people at such critical points in their unique journeys. Radio Aire Dating. Welcome to Radio Aire Dating - the online dating site where genuine singles meet and form relationships. Sick of being single? Fed up of waking up alone on a Sunday morning? Well, you've come to the right place. Here at Radio Aire Dating we have thousands of members just like you, who are looking for fun, friendship, romance and that special long term relationship. It is completely free to join Radio Aire Dating and as soon as you do, you can add your photo and create your own personal profile page. It costs nothing to send a wink so you can start contacting the people that you fancy straight away, and search by location to find other singles in your area. As a member you can also use more advanced search options to find other singles by interest, age, postcode, or whether they have children or smoke. Every time you log in to Radio Aire Dating you can see who has been looking at your profile and access your own Radio Aire Dating inbox, which contains all your sent and received winks and personal messages. There are additional features for full members which allow you to reveal more of your personality, including your dating diary. These features encourage greater contact from other members as they get to know more about you. As a full member you also have the ability to see who is online and message any other singles you find attractive. So what are you waiting for? Join Radio Aire Dating today and start meeting other singles straight away. Company Information. Radio Aire Dating is run by Global Personals Limited, a company specialising in the development of online dating websites for the singles community. For all media enquiries, please email press@globalpersonals. The site is powered by White. Label. Dating. com, a powerful cross- platform dating solution which can be integrated with other websites.
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