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What Facebook, Twitter, Tinder, Instagram, and Internet Porn Are Doing to America. And then “I found out he was talking to, like, four other girls.” And now she wanted to do something to get over it, maybe to get back at him. All men are basically whores.” When he didn’t turn out to be her “true love”—“like Bella and Edward, or Bella and Jacob, you know?”—she decided she had to “lose it to someone,” so why not with someone she would never have to see again? And yet, she hoped it would somehow be like the Lana Del Rey song. He looked “James Franco–ish,” but younger.
On Tinder you could meet people in your age group. She was 1. 6; he was 1. Alone in her room, the night before, reading her friends’ Twitter feeds and watching You. Tube videos (Selena Gomez and “baby animals being cute”), she’d started feeling lonely, restless, and bored.
She “hearted” his picture, and within a few minutes he had hearted hers, and then they were instantly texting.“Ur hot,” he wrote. And if it turned out he was really some gross old man, I’d just run away.” But there he was, standing by his car, looking almost like his picture. There was something different about his face—it was “squishier. Like, he was almost fat.” But now here they were, and she didn’t know quite how to get out of it. He smiled and kissed her on the cheek. He smelled of Axe Body Spray. She was sorry she’d spent so much time getting ready for this.
He wanted her to get in his car, but she knew she shouldn’t. They started walking around the mall, “talking about nothing, nothing.
It was awkward, totally weird.” He asked if she wanted to sit down, but there was nowhere to sit except in restaurants, so they wound up going inside a Pottery Barn and making out on a couch. Later she posted something on her Tumblr blog about the difficulty of finding love. WHEELING IN THE BITCHES“Gotta wheel the bitches in. Gotta wheel the bitches in,” said the teenage boy on a city bus in New York. There are so many apps and shit that just, like, hand you the girls. They don’t even know that’s what they’re doing, but really they’re just giving teenagers ways to have sex.”SEX, LIES, AND SOCIAL MEDIAIf you’re between 8 and 1.
The average American teen now spends nearly every waking moment on a smart phone or computer or watching TV. This seismic shift in how kids spend their time is having a profound effect on the way they make friends, the way they date, and their introduction to the world of sex. Kids have always been interested in sex, of course; but there have never been more ways for them to express that to one another, at any moment of the day, no matter where they are. They don’t even have to be together, and often they are not.
On Omegle, they can talk to strangers, and sometimes the talk turns sexual. Two hundred bucks.” And then there is Tinder, where kids can meet each other on their phones. Oral is, like, the new kissing.” “The cum shot in the face is a big thing,” said another girl. And then there are “texting relationships,” a disembodied coupling that takes place solely on a screen. It can still become very sexual, often very quickly. There were four of them: Melissa, Zoe, Padma, and Greta.* They stopped to sit down and talk awhile at an outdoor table. They were pretty girls with long straight hair—two blonde, two brunette, all aged 1.
They wore sleeveless summer dresses and looked fresh and sweet. They went to a magnet high school in L. A. Greta, they said, was famous—or Instafamous, having thousands of followers on Instagram. She showed me a gallery of her Instapics; some were of her dog and some were of Greta pouting and wearing “the duck face.” Some of her followers, she said, were “random dudes in Italy and Arabia.”Melissa said, “I have Facebook, a You. Tube account. I’ve used Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Vine .
Go away.’”I asked them how they knew when a boy liked them.“When a boy likes your . Which means they have interest in you,” said Zoe. I asked them how they made the transition from social- media interaction to real- world interaction. They blinked.“You talk to them on Facebook; you do chat with them,” Melissa said. I asked if they had boyfriends.“There’s this boy Seth,” said Greta, “and when he liked my profile picture, I knew it was like, .
But the one thing I didn’t like about him was he didn’t follow me back on Instagram. Social media causes soooooo much anxiety.”They all agreed on that.“The thing with social media is, if a guy doesn’t respond to you or doesn’t, like, stalk you back, then you’re gonna feel rejected,” said Melissa.“And rejection hurts,” said Padma.“And then you’re gonna go, like, look for another person to fill that void and you’re gonna move on to stalking someone else,” Melissa said.“That’s how men become such whores,” said Greta.“Guys actually take the Facebook- talking situation way too far,” meaning sexually, said Zoe.
They were nodding their heads.“Like, when guys start a Facebook thing, they want too much,” said Padma. They try with different girls to see who would give more of themselves.”“It leads to major man- whoring,” Greta said.“They’re definitely more forward to us online than in person,” said Zoe. Greta had responded “Lololol” and “Hahahaha” and “Nope.” “It wasn’t THAT funny,” Seth had texted back.“He isn’t my boyfriend,” clarified Greta.“My friend, she was VC- ing,” or video chatting, “this guy she was kind of dating,” Melissa said. So she Skyped him and showed him nudes that way.
He took a screenshot without her knowing it. He sent it to so many people and the entire baseball team. She was whispered about and called names. He still has it and won’t delete it.”I asked if they knew girls who posted provocative pictures of themselves.
They all said yes.“More provocative equals more likes,” said Greta.“It attracts more guys and then it makes other girls think about doing it just for the attention. They’re attention whores,” said Padma, frowning.“My father thinks all my photos are provocative,” Greta mused.“I think some girls post slutty pictures of themselves to show guys the side to them that guys want to see,” said Zoe. Boys call it hot,” said Padma. Greta shrugged. She grinds her ass into the crotch of a woman twerking. She writhes around in an empty bathtub, sticking her ass in the air some more. She appears at the V.
M. A.’s twerking into the crotch of Robin Thicke, causing an international sensation. In the video for ”Summer Fling,“ Willow Smith stares at the nipple of a teenage boy while offering him her phone number. Goldman is the director of the Santa Clarita Valley Youth Project, a counseling service for teens that reaches around 2. Simpson.) “Girls talk about feeling like they have to be like what they see on TV,” she said.
They all want to be like the Kardashians. Kendall Jenner posts bikini shots when she’s 1. Santa Clarita, an affluent community nestled in the arid Santa Susana Mountains north of L. A., has its share of troubled kids.
There’s been a rash of heroin- related deaths over the last year. A Facebook page entitled “Santa Clarita Sluts” was finally taken down. In January, Michael Downs, a local teen, was sentenced to 1. Facebook.“We’re seeing depression, anxiety, feelings of isolation,” said Goldman.
We have kids who’ve had sex with people they meet on Chat Roulette. At one of the junior highs we work with, we found out there were a few kids engaging in an online orgy. They all signed into a video chat room.” One of their parents walked in on it.“We had girls selling oral sex for $1. Goldman. Everything is sexualized. They’re all reading Fifty Shades of Grey.”CYBER- QUEENSOn a bright, hot day in June, I met Sydney at the Popover Caf. She was blonde and angelic looking, like a girl from a Beaux Arts painting of the 1. She gave me her headshot; I’m not sure why.
She said she wants to be an actress.“I was cyber- bullied when I was younger,” she said over popovers, “on this . It was this thing where you create a profile of a cartoon character, and this random stranger started talking to me and saying really creepy things. I was in sixth grade.“I didn’t know who it was at first.
It turned out it was one of the girls at my school,” a private girls’ school in Manhattan. I don’t even know how she learned how to talk that way.“I was 1. I didn’t know how to respond. And then she and her friends took screenshots .
I had to switch schools. I became insanely insecure.” But nothing ever happened to the girls who bullied her. I didn’t want to be that girl that tattletaled.”And then a few years later, she saw her former victimizers on Facebook. They post pictures of themselves at certain parties. They friend certain kids.
There’s so much social climbing.”Her bullies were now two of the most visible girls in the Manhattan high- school scene, the type of girls who “go clubbing with 2. One of their moms has, like, a clothing line.” On her i. Phone, Sydney showed me the girls’ Facebook pages, where they had posted many pictures of themselves partying in nightclubs and posing, hand on hip, Paris Hilton–style, surrounded by Euro- looking men. These pictures got a lot of likes.“They dress like sluts,” Sydney said, “in bandeaus and short shorts that show your butt cheeks—excuse me, you’re not at the beach.” She admitted she sometimes dressed like that too. Girls are just so mean.“I don’t go into the bathrooms at school,” she said, “. They look at you up and down like, . Like on Ask. fm”—a social- networking site with 6.
I love Tumblr,” she said, “’cause it’s just kids expressing themselves with writing and pictures; but it’s also a lot about how to look and dress, and it makes a lot of girls feel bad . They feel like the more they drink and the crazier they act, the more guys will come to them.” Crazy how?
It’s dark and, like, 1. It’s not considered a big deal. Guys try and hook up with as many girls as possible.”“At one party?” I asked.“Yeah,” she said. This kid in my grade has this list of 9. BAD GIRLS”“We know this girl Ursula that had a list of guys she had given blow jobs to, like 4.